Counting My Blessings

Ever since I was a little girl I have loved watching old movies, especially, the good, wholesome ones from the 40s. In one such movie, "White Christmas", Bing Crosby sings a song called "Count Your Blessings". The lyrics are simple and I often find myself thinking similar thoughts throughout my day.

When I'm worried and I can't sleep
I count my blessings instead of sheep
And I fall asleep counting my blessings
When my bankroll is getting small
I think of when I had none at all
And I fall asleep counting my blessings

I think about a nursery and I picture curly heads
And one by one I count them as they slumber in their beds
If you're worried and you can't sleep
Just count your blessings instead of sheep
And you'll fall asleep counting your blessings

I think a lot about where I was just two years ago: pregnant with our first child, working in a job I loved, yet unsure of what the future held. I had always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, and never wanted to have to divide my attention between work and home. But I was prepared to do just that because I couldn't let myself imagine it differently. As the main bread winner I had to keep working. (Of course, I had no one lined up to watch my newborn and worried constantly while I was pregnant about what I was going to do.) Well, I had Tennyson a month early and went on my 8-week maternity leave fully intending on coming back part-time. But in a unexpected turn of events I ended up being "let go" from my job. At the time I felt hurt, rejected, and sad (among other things). And despite my plans falling apart, I soon realized that it was necessary for my deepest, unspoken desires to be fulfilled....all because of His plans for my life.


It was calm and beautiful after the storm of uncertainty. And even though money is beyond tight and we often don't know how we are going to pay our bills, I am content. God has blessed me with great family and friends, an amazing husband, and the best little boy in the world! I have found alternate ways to make up a small fraction of my "lost" income, and though not having to work at all would be ideal, I go to sleep at night counting my blessings. Knowing I am the only one that's cared for my child all day (of course, until Daddy gets home to help) is important to me. Please don't get me wrong, I have no problem with working mothers. I thought I was going to be one myself, but God knew that was not the true desire of my heart.

Psalm 37:4 Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.

And here we are getting ready to welcome Baby Bates #2 into our family. Sometimes I have to smile about everything God has done for me, for us, and for our family. I am so glad things haven't worked out according to my plans. And I am constantly reminded that His ways truly are higher than our ways.