We Still Call Him "B. R."

Yes, at less than 18 lbs., he's still our Baby Raleigh. He took his first official steps (4 of them to be exact) on August 12th. In a few short weeks he's mastered walking. Since he's so little it's just too cute to see him practically running all over the house. And just in the past couple weeks Raleigh loves bringing us books and climbing up on the couch to be read to. His favorite books are "The Very Busy Spider," "Dinosaurs Roar," and "The Very Quiet Cricket." He's also recently learned to point, stack blocks, climb on and off Tennyson's bed, and feed himself with a spoon and fork. And given the "Mickey Mouse Clubhouse" or "Curious George" themes songs, and he will boogie with the best of them! It's adorable to see our little dude dance!

There are some things that haven't changed much. Raleigh still l-o-v-e-s to be held close and snuggled, something this mommy will never tire of. He brings unimaginable joy and laughter to our home. I could sit for hours and watch him play with cars or trains. He makes the cutest "boy noises," like the sound of cars driving all over the floor. Raleigh loves to give kisses, too, especially to his big brother. It warms my heart to see them loving on each other. I hope that continues as they grow.

Catching Up

Oh my, I just can't seem to find the time to blog anymore. These little men keep me so busy! And when I do find a few minutes to myself I always seem to spend it cleaning....or sleeping. Not that I am complaining, so goes the life of a stay-at-home mommy. Part of me thinks "but I have nothing to blog about. Who wants to read about my 'boring' life?" But truthfully, it's so NOT boring! I mean, it might be to some, but I really need to keep up better with my blog so I can look back and remember these days, when my boys were little and what our day-to-day lives were like. Right now it's my whole existence, raising these boys, but in the not too distant future I will forget all the little things that make up our days like:

~ Tennyson correcting us if we "accidentally" call Raleigh "Sweet Boy." He says, "No, I am Sweet Boy. He is Baby Raleigh."

~ Raleigh waving bye-bye with his whole arm to Tom as he leaves for work. (He used to do a cute little backwards wave with just his fingers.)

~ The boys playing in the tub together and then endlessly kissing and hugging each other good night.

~ Tennyson hiding under the covers during storytime when the other parent comes into the room. Like we don't hear him giggling and see the covers moving.

~ The boys holding hands in the back seat as we run errands and then Tennyson says, "Look, Mommy, we being friends."

~ Raleigh "dancing" during the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song by holding on to the table and rocking from side to side.

~ The sound of Raleigh breathing through the baby monitor.

~ Or the way they smell after a bath.

~ Or the sight of them playing ball together in the backyard.

~ Or how tired we always seem to be yet supremely happy.

I don't want to forget any of these moments. I've waited for them my whole life. To see my children playing together is bliss (when they play nicely, of course).

Obviously some days are better than others. Some days I feel like all I do is carry Raleigh on my hip, discipline Tennyson, and clean up their messes. Getting the laundry done and taking a shower is still cause for rejoicing. But I rest in the knowledge that I am right where I need to be. And that's enough for me....every day.

In the Blink of an Eye

**I haven't been on my blog in for-ever.....and I JUST discovered this unpublished post from April 10th! It's over two months old, and Raleigh has changed SO much since then!**

All at once our little Raleigh baby has taken off. He started crawling on March 27th (8 months and 7 seven days old), which if you go by his due date he technically wasn't even seven months old yet. Haha! Last Sunday, April 4th, Raleigh said "Mama" for the first time. What a tender moment for a mommy's heart! And last night I put him in his crib so I could put the boys' laundry away and he pulled himself up to his feet for the first time! He was so proud of himself he just started giggling. Of course, I got all teary and just hugged him saying, "No, Mommy's not ready for you to do that yet!" But I really was so proud and excited! Raleigh is also trying to climb the stairs, now that I am really not ready for!

Raleigh continues to bring us such joy and well, not much rest. He's starting to sleep longer stretches at night, but really, I don't mind it. Someday I'll miss his sweet smell and his little body curled up next to mine at night. *sigh* Why can't I stop time....just for a moment.

Reevaluating

Ever since I became a mother nearly three years ago almost everything in my life has changed, and most of it for the better. My full-time job is now taking care of my children. My relationship with my husband has been taken to a deeper level. My house isn't as clean and organized as it used to be. And my friendships have changed dramatically.

Lately I have been feeling forgotten by my friends - left out of social gatherings and parties. I guess it's because I haven't been around much since Raleigh's birth, and admittedly, I haven't been the best at keeping in touch. But taking care of two little ones and trying to do all the things running a household requires plus trying to earn money to make ends meet doesn't leave any time for socialization. Aside from those reasons, Raleigh is still (at 8 months old) depending solely on me for food (though secretly I don't mind a bit), so needless to say he goes everywhere with me.

Honestly, I am not sorry for putting my motherly and wifely duties first. I have to. I am the one that keeps everything running. I recognize that as an introvert I have to make a conscience effort to be social. I'd much rather be home with my little family. I am learning not to take everything so personally. Maybe they don't like me anymore because my kids are so darn cute and they are jealous? Haha! Okay, that's probably not the real reason.

A week or so ago here is how my Facebook said read "Brittany is reevaluating her friendships and trying not to take everything so personally. There are a few friends I hold most dear, that I could count on for anything. They love me no matter what and we are there for each other. I can't be all things to all people, and frankly, I'm not gonna try." Almost immediately several of my friends e-mailed me saying they knew exactly what I was going through. I appreciated that so much. It meant that I wasn't crazy or a bad person for reevaluating who my friends really were.

I do find myself relying mostly on those friends that are in the same place I am right now, home with little ones. And since my time is valuable I am realizing that I need to step away from my high-maintenance friendships. I simply can't do it all. I can't maintain a house, give my husband and sons what they need, and try to keep alive one-sided friendships.

Anyway, I just needed to get all this out. My blog is really my only outlet. And I don't know if anyone reads it, but that's what's going on with me right now. Reevaluating, yet thanking God for every blessing that keeps my life full.

Spring Cleaning Giveaway

I am signed up to get offer from SC Johnson & Company. Here's a sweet deal if you are one of the first 10,000 to respond:

http://www.rightathome.com/special-offers/

In Case You are Wondering....

It's amazing how many people have asked us if we are going to "try for a girl." Even after we had Tennyson the question began to surface, but now it's like people just assume that since we have 2 boys that we want or need a girl.

The short answer to the prying question is "NO!" I am already so miffed at being asked that it's starting to go something like this, "So...are you gonna try for a girl?" My response, "WHY would I do that?" Besides that, I don't think it's right trying for a boy or girl that you may or may not get and ending up with more kids than you intended to or can afford.

Truthfully, I always wanted boys. I am so not a girly-girl. I hate shopping for clothes and shoes (just ask Tom). When I was growing up I spent more time playing with my brother's G.I. Joe's and climbing trees than playing house. And besides, should I need some girl time I have 3 sisters, 3 sisters-in-law, and lots of friends.

I am not one of these women with a burning desire to have a daughter. I love, love, love having little "Toms" around. To see the bond Tom has with his sons is indescribable. It's great having trains, trucks, and Hot Wheels cars all over the house! (And for the record, I would not deal well with a Drama Queen. There's no chance of that with sons!)

I realize that at 31 I don't have to make a decision about baby #3 right now. But always in the back of my mind is the fact that I would have to have a third c-section, and after the difficult time I had with Raleigh I am not sure I want to go through that again. Deciding to have a third would be based on us wanting a third no matter what the gender. Sometimes it's easy to think, "Oh, let's have another. All my friends are pregnant!" (I think I have the most fertile friends in the world! Haha!) But I really want time to enjoy and nurture each child individually, especially in the early years. My parents did lots of things right, but I rarely got one-on-one time with 6 brothers and sisters around, so I don't want to have that "problem," no matter if we have 2 kids or 3.

So yeah, lots to think about. But thankfully, I am not in a hurry. I am just enjoying these days raising my 2 wonderful boys! I'm sure gonna miss it someday.

My Darling Boy ~ A Tennyson Update

Ah, finally an update on Tennyson. Poor little guy, now that there is a baby in the house he just doesn't get the blogging time he deserves! Well, Tennyson is doing and saying so many new things now, I genuinely can't keep up. And now that his vocabulary has expanded to include words like "probably" and "convertible," conversations with him have gotten increasingly hilarious. Here are a few examples of some funny things he's said recently:

2.2010 ~ We have been having major bedtime battles with Tennyson that started the day we began to pack up at the old house, so it's been going on for-ever. Anyway, sometime last week I went to check on him around 10:30 or so, only to open his door to find him quietly playing in his room. I calmly said, "Oh, we thought you were asleep." My 2-year old's response, "I was sleeping with my eyes open." Are you kidding me?! Haha!

2.22.10 ~ During dinner I must have been eating quickly (as usual) because Tennyson looked at me and said, "Mommy, you must be starving!"

2.24.10 ~ There is a corner of the rug in our room that was slightly chewed up by some visiting canines a few years ago. On this particular day Tennyson remarked on this (again) and this time I said, "Who did that?" He said, "Cameron and Sara did it." So funny and random that he would blame it on my brother and sister-in-law!

2.28.10 ~ Tennyson came downstairs last night saying something was wrong in his room. So I went upstairs to check it out. He kept pointing at the floor and when I found the tiny piece of carpet he was referring to I told him it was okay, nothing was wrong. He said, "Mommy, I broke you floor."

3.1.10 ~ When Tennyson's nails need to be cut and they are dirty underneath I tell him it's dirt and germs. Today after I cut his nails he looked in the sink and said, "Look at all those germs!"

I realize that since we are Tennyson's parents we think he's something extra special, but Tennyson genuinely lights up whatever room he is in. Everyone seems to be drawn to him, from the teachers at BRCS begging Tom to bring him in to my family who just loves to be around him. As the previous stories illustrate, Tennyson is highly entertaining!

I have been asked (already?!) if we are going to put him in preschool, but truthfully he's knows everything they would teach him anyway. (Besides, we can't afford it right now.) Tennyson has known all his colors and shapes for a year now, but now he can count to 11 ("But this one goes to 11.") Tennyson knows the alphabet and often breaks into the "Super Why" version of it. He knows every letter and number by sight, too, not just singing them. And you can have a intelligible conversation with him like you would a 4 year old. Tennyson recently started asking "What does that spell?" when we are reading to him. He asks poignant questions about things and already wants to know "Why?" and "What is that thing called?" My parents always said the smartest kids ask a lot of questions. :-)

Of course I can't talk about my darling boy without mentioning his ever increasing love of trains. For Christmas we got him Thomas the Tank Engine appliques to put all over his wall. So he often sits there and names all the trains. He can put together an impressive track, too, both the wooden and plastic ones. And his room is now complete with Thomas sheets and comforter, too. It's such a cute boy's room! He spends a lot of time in there just playing trains. It really is quite precious.

Check out the awesome guitar-shaped track he built by himself!

Playing trains with Daddy

Life is never dull with Tennyson around. He talks non-stop, and breaking into "Jingle Bells" and "Little Drummer Boy" are still a common occurrence. He loves to take off his sock and say, "Look, piggy toes!" And then remove the other one and says, "Look, MORE piggy toes!" Tennyson's other new thing is to show up his "food" after he eats something. It started with Tom saying he was going to eat it and Tennyson showing us that it's in his tummy instead. Yes, our boy is ridiculous!

Showing us what he ate, in this case it's carrots and grapes.
Tennyson continues to be a dream big brother, and he and Raleigh have really begun that legendary brotherly bond. Raleigh giggles and laughs just watching Tennyson jump and run around, but he especially loves playing peek-a-boo with him. Tennyson showers "baby brudder" with so much love and affection. I really never expected they would bond so well, so quickly.

Wearing Daddy's snowy boots

This was taken after the big snow on the way to my brother's to watch the Superbowl.

I could write a book our energetic, lovable, funny little boy. Tom asked him last week, "Are you a monkey?" Tennyson responded, "No, I a sweet boy." He sure is.....

Baby Boy is 6 Months Old!

Okay, Raleigh is actually 7 months by now, but hey, at least I am finally getting around to documenting his half-birthday, right? I have so much I could say about my Little BOL (One of my nicknames for him is Ball of Love). Raleigh rolled over at 4 months or so and now he is most definitely on the move. He's not crawling yet, but he has gotten his knees up under himself a few times. (Yikes!) He is one determined little man though. If he sees something he wants he WILL find a way to get it! Raleigh has been known to roll repeatedly across the living room just to get his sweet, little hands on one of big brother's trains! It's crazy how fast and precise his rolling has become! You can often hear us say, "How did you get all the way over there?"

Raleigh is still the happiest baby! Since birth he's just been this content, laid-back little dude. He's so alert and really notices new surroundings and people. It's so cute to watch him watch people. And just recently Tennyson and he have really starting interacting! Oh how I love it! Tennyson jumps around the room and then pretends to fall down and Raleigh just bursts into laughter. I tell you, sometimes I think I might explode from the cuteness!

At Raleigh's 6 month appointment he weighed 14 lbs. 5 oz. (5th percentile) and was 26.5 inches l
long (50th percentile). In fact the nurse measured him three times because she could not believe he had grown over 2 inches in 2 months. Looks like he'll be taking after Mommy in the height department, too! The peditrician explained that the growth charts don't really make alotments for preemies, but he was pleased to see that even though Raleigh is small he is gaining weight nicely.

This is especially good to know since he's still living solely off me. The few times we tried to give him a bottle he steadfastly refused. And I did make a couple attempts at rice cereal, but he was also less than enthusiastic about it. I figure there's no rules about when to introduce solids, so I am not going to stress about it. He'll eat it when he's ready.

Raleigh still loves to chew on his toes, especially when socks are present. And his determined little spirit is something I hope he doesn't lose. Here are some photos I took during a little photo shoot of my littlest man, and a few others since then.

His eyes really are that blue.

Loves the toes!

Baby feet

One of his many expressions

So content

Lookin' a little pouty.

"Do I have to try it, Mommy?"

"But my hand tastes better."

"Yeah, I'm not crazy about this organic rice stuff."

A Heavy End to an Otherwise Wonderful Christmas

This past Christmas was an amazing time with my 24 member family. We laughed, played games, ate, and just really enjoyed being in each other's company. On the last night we were all together (December 27th) we all headed to my sister's house in Broadway for a family picture and dinner. After the picture I went upstairs to feed Raleigh. My sister, Dawn, came in and said Lynley had an announcement to make. Normally that means a pregnancy, but seeing as my sister was crying I knew that wasn't it something good.

By the time I got out in to the living room everyone was gathered around listening to my sister, Lynley, with my brother-in-law, Dan, right beside her. His hand was on her back and he was looking down. I heard things like "surgery," "lump," and "doctors." For a second I didn't comprehend what was going on. Was it her? Where was the lump? What did it mean?

Taken after "the announcement."

They still look good, even with puffy eyes!

I don't really need to give all the details here, but Dan discovered a lump during yoga, of all things, around December 10th and went to the doctor right away. They soon were doing surgery to remove swollen lymph nodes in his neck. (My brother, Cameron, noticed the scar and asked Dan about it, somewhat prompting Lynley and Dan to share with the family what was going on.) By this point there had already been lots of tests, scans, and appointments. When Lynley was done talking I think everyone was stunned and in tears and then.......and then we all got up and hugged them, hugged each other. Just long, meaningful hugs. Some of us prayed for them. It was a very heavy moment. So very different from different from the same day last year when we announced to my family that we were expecting Raleigh.

The next day Lynley and Dan headed back to PA for a late afternoon doctor's appointment. They called while the rest of us were having dinner and told us that the doctors had confirmed what we were all fearing - cancer. Dan was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkins Lymphoma. It was so surreal because Dan is only 30 and he and Lynley are hand's down the healthiest people we know. Thankfully since Dan is a pre-med student at Penn State he has been getting the royal treatment! So we are so happy about that.

It still seems so surreal. So unfair that Dan has to go through this. I can't tell you how my heart aches for them. As of now Dan has done 4 of his 8 chemo treatments. He's dealt with "fire tongue," fatigue, nausea, and just recently hair loss. And in May he'll do 2-3 weeks of radiation. Though his prognosis is extremely good he (and Lynley) still weigh heavy on our hearts and our minds throughout the day. So if you could please, please remember to pray for them I know they would appreciate it. And if you want to follow along on their journey to kick cancer Dan's Caring Bridge website is: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/teamlapp .

We look forward to the day he is cancer free....and we know that will be soon!

Christmas~ Part 2

Let's see if I can actually find the time to sit and get caught up on my blog. Since I am so far behind (Raleigh is 7 months old I haven't even done a 6 month post for him!) I'll just post a few photos from Christmas that I wanted to share.

An overhead view of most of my family while my Dad

read a devotion before Christmas dinner (12.26.09)

My siblings. Yeah, we're ridiculous!


We went to the Harrisonburg Children's Museum on the 26th with my brother, Kyrce, and his family. Here's a fuzzy, yet adorable, photo of Tennyson.

Racing Daddy

Riding the John Deere

Weighing vegetables

My nephew, Holden (3), and my niece, Bethany (3), eating bananas. I love the guilty look!

My sister-in-law, Maureen, and Raleigh (5 months).

Christmas ~ Part 1

In the craziness of moving 6 days beforehand, Christmas was almost forgotten. ;-) Okay not really. But we put unpacking on hold and spent 4 days wonderful, special days with my family. Lynley and Dan came in to town on Christmas Eve and Kyrce and his family got here late on Christmas day.

Tom and I opened presents first thing that morning with the boys before heading over to my parents'. Tennyson was much more excited this year and we were impressed with how he took the time to open each present and study it before moving on to the next one. He especially loved his Thomas the Tank Engine wall stickers, sheets, and trains. He also loved all his Disney stuffed animals from Nana Joan, Tom's mom. Mickey, Goofy, Donald, Winnie the Pooh, and Pluto sit on his bed every night.

My family loves to play games!

The best part of the photo is Cameron with a tie around his head.

I just wanted to post this adorable photo of Raleigh.

It looks like he's blowing a kiss!

The chaos of opening presents

Memories

It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.
~Author Unknown

On December 18th we were forced to move from the only home Tom and I had shared together since being married in June 2004. Our landlord got a divorce last year and decided to sell the townhouse (or rather, he had to sell it), so we had no choice but to move. Even though we were renters we cared for it like it was our own home.

I was especially sad to leave since I had lived in that home longer than I had lived anywhere in my whole life. So to say I was emotionally attached to it is an understatement. After only 5 weeks notice with Thanksgiving and Christmas in there, packing (mostly by myself), cleaning, etc. we moved the day before the blizzard hit. We wanted to be in our new place by Christmas so we could enjoy the holiday and then go back and clean.

So on January 2nd Tom and I said a very tearful good-bye to our first home. As we shut the door for the last time I was flooded with memories. Like coming back from our honeymoon, finding it decorated by friends and filled with all the wedding presents. I remembered all the good times Tom and I shared there before becoming parents. I relived bringing Tennyson home from the hospital and all the amazing life he gave to that house, learning to walk, running through the kitchen and hearing his little feet smack the floor, leaving fingerprints on the back door, and playing in the sprinkler in the backyard. And more recently I pictured again walking through the front door with little Raleigh.

It just broke our hearts to leave it, but life goes on. On the upside, we are in a more convenient location with a 3rd bedroom. But we miss the roominess of the old place, the big backyard, and our neighbors. However, we are optimistically looking forward to all the precious memories we will make in our new place. Afterall, home is where you are surrounded by the ones you love and not the house itself.

The Last Snow at Pointe Drive

The last decent snowfall we got while living at our old home on Pointe Drive was December 5th (other than Moving Day), so the next day I took Tennyson out to play in it. (Tom was working in Harper's Ferry that day.) Now earlier in the year Tennyson did not enjoy the cold, white stuff, but now that he's older he really loved it! The only way I could get him to go back inside was to bribe him with hot chocolate.

Here are some of the priceless pix from that day:

I love the zig-zag path he made.

At the woods' edge, looking for deer.

The Month Between

The rush between Thanksgiving and Christmas is a blur in any year, but this year was particularly bad because we found out 2 days before Thanksgiving that our landlord sold the townhouse we had been renting since we got married and we had to be out by the end of the year. (More on the unfortunate move in another post.) So naturally I didn't get to take near as many photos as I would have liked, but here are some from that crazy month in between.

Tennyson thought it was fun to walk around the house with this on his head.

Raleigh (4 months)

Tennyson helping my sister make cookie bars.

Santa Baby!

Raleigh loves Christmas!

Tennyson trying to decide which cookie to eat from the giant box.

Aunt Lynley had the magic touch and got Raleigh to sleep. (Christmas Eve 2009)

Brothers

(Taken 1.6.10 Tennyson 2, Raleigh 5 months)

I have to say it has blown my mind how good Tennyson has been about this whole becoming a big brother business. As his mother I can honestly say I wasn't so sure about it, since Tennyson was pretty much our whole world, how he would react having to share the attention. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great to have siblings. It's healthier. But still I was worried about how he would treat little new little bundle that would require a lot of his mommy and daddy' s time.

What a blessing that I worried all for nothing! Tennyson has never, not once shown his brother anything but love and acceptance. They simply adore each other! Tennyson still calls him "Baby Rahree" and sometimes tells me, "He's a baby, Mommy. He's a baby." Just in case I forgot. Haha! Tennyson often says, "I want to talk to Baby Brudder." *sigh* It's so precious to see them interact.

I know there will be days ahead where they bicker, fight over toys, and maybe even the car someday, but right now I am LOVING spending my days with these two little boys that have completely and utterly stolen my heart.

Tennyson studying Baby Raleigh.

I think the look on Tennyson's face says it all.
He's so proud to be the big brother!

Showing Raleigh his trains.

Cathing My Breath

Oh my. Where do I even begin? There are so many posts I have wanted to do, but finding the time to sit and write is nearly impossible. Even now after the kitchen is spotless, dishwasher is running, and the bathroom is cleaned I am fussing at Tennyson for destroying his slinky and Raleigh is waking up from his nap. I really am loving being home full-time, raising these boys, and cherishing every moment. But.some.days.....

As you can tell I haven't even had the time to post about our hasty move out of the only home we've known since getting married. Or about our wonderful Christmas with my family. Or about the sad, devasting news of my dear brother-in-law's cancer diagnosis 3 days after Christmas. Or about Tennyson.....oh Tennyson. I could write a million posts about that boy! And Raleigh just turned 6 months old. Just so much to write about.

I wake up each morning and essentially do the same thing: nurse and change Raleigh, change Tennyson, get his breakfast, get him dressed, clean something, try to answer e-mails, more housework, play Playdoh, more diapers, snacktime, stories, tv, blessed naptime, etc. etc. etc. I tell you, if I ever get a shower 2 days in a row I think I'll explode with excitment!

Sometimes my mind drifts back to those days of going to the office every morning, working with numbers, helping people buy a house, business trips, meetings, conference calls, lunches, and constant adult interaction. I do miss the 50Gs I used to make, but I still wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world, even on the toughest days.

I know most of you reading this can probably relate to the Career Woman Turned Mommy syndrome. Ah, so good to know I am not alone.

Tasty Tuesday ~ Raspberry Poppyseed Vinaigrette

This was my first attempt at making salad dressing....without a recipe. I must say it turned out pretty well. Add more or less sugar, vinegar, or yogurt/mayo to your desired taste. I used light mayo for this recipe, but next time I plan on trying it with nonfat yogurt.

Raspberry Poppyseed Vinaigrette

Ingredients:
1 1/2 cups raspberries, fresh or thawed
1/2 sugar (or to desired sweetness)
2 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar
3/4 Tbsp. poppyseeds
1 tsp. balsamic vinegar
3/4 cup nonfat yogurt or light mayo

How to Make It:
1) Place raspberries in food processor and blend until smooth.
2) Add sugar, vinegars, and yogurt or mayo. Blend until smooth. (This part may require several tasting if you want to alter it.)
3) Pour into a serving bowl and stir in poppyseeds.

I served this on spinach greens with mandarin oranges, craisins, and toasted almonds. Yum-my!