Our sweet little Tennyson Harper turns one year old today. I can hardly believe we are already reaching this milestone with him. After all the praying, crying, fertility treatments, waiting, bloodwork, doctor's visits, and tests we were finally going to meet this little baby we tried so hard to have. A friend once told me that there was just something very special about the love for a baby who's parents had to go to extra measures to get pregnant. Not that pregnant-on-the-first-try parents love their babies less, it's just different. Going month after month while all your friends were easily getting pregnant was such a difficult journey. So to say we felt blessed and excited doesn't even come close to what we experienced that day.
I want to document Tennyson's birth story while it's still relatively fresh in my mind. Yet I know there are things about that day I'll never forget as long as live, like the first time I saw him and the love I felt. But I do want to remember to events leading up to his birth.
So here's the story of how he came to be born. I rolled over in bed at 4:45AM thinking I had a sudden urge to "go" and barely made it to the bathroom in time when my water broke. I started yelling for Tom, who was so calm it made me crazy. (Thank goodness we balance each other out!) I called my sister and then had the doctor paged. Of course we were advised to head right to the hospital. She asked if I had had any contractions and I told her I hadn't. The second I hung up the phone boy did they start! I had never even had Braxton Hicks so I didn't know what to expect. I knew contractions would hurt, they're supposed to hurt, but oh...my...word. I could tell we needed to go NOW, so we literally grabbed a towel and ran out of the house. The weather was notable, as it was unseasonably cool and rainy that morning, and continued to rain throughout the day. On the short ride to the hospital I tried to "breathe" like they teach you in childbirth class, which was completely useless. I guess it works for some people. Anyway, I politely advised my husband to run any red lights and am proud to say he did! Oh the love!
I was too uncomfortable to walk when we got there so Tom went in and they took me up to the 3rd floor in the wheelchair and quickly got me into a room and hooked up to.....everything. It didn't even phase me. I was so crazy excited MY turn had finally come!! They checked to see how far along I was. When we asked they just kind of looked at each other and said they wanted the doctor's opinion. Okay, what does that mean? I had NO concept of time pretty much thewhole day, so I don't know how long it was until my doctor got there, but when she checked me she confirmed I was already at 8 cm!!!! I was pretty proud of myself! I thought I was going to be a 2-3 cm give-me-drugs kind of woman.
For the record, I hold on to my sister's philosophy, "If you weren't present at the conception, you're not coming to the birth." Other people can do what they want, but the ONLY people I wanted in that room, besides the medical people, were my husband and my doula. I am SO glad I chose to have Steph as part of Tennyson's birth! I don't know how I could have gotten through it without both of them. They were so good at encouraging, praying, and keeping me calm! I was definitely feeling blessed! My wonderful husband was beside me, holding my hand, and stroking my head the whole time!
I knew I wanted to get as far as I could without the use of meds, but had no problem whatsoever using them if needed. So after lots of very strong, unbearable contractions I was ready for the epidural. I declare it one of the BEST inventions ever!! I remember holding on to Tom, not feeling anything but the frequent, strong contractions. It's never too late for it, because I was 9 cm when they gave me those lovely drugs! (Funny thing was the anesthesiologist had been at my brother's wedding two days before, and so was one of the nurse's we had during our stay.) I am SO glad I chose to have the epidural. It just made everything much more enjoyable (for lack of a better word) and otherwise I couldn't have managed the next part.
I really wanted my doctor to deliver Tennyson since he'd seen us through the whole fertility process and my prayers were answered. A few hours after we checked in he was the one on call! Like I said I kind of lost track of time, but all in all I pushed every 2 minutes for THREE-and-a-half hours in every position possible with absolutely no progress. The good news was that Tennyson tolerated labor really, really well. His heart rate never dropped during all the pushing. My doctor, who is a-m-a-z-i-n-g by the way, would come in and I would beg and plead to let me push one more hour and to please not cut me open. But in the end, it was my only option. After 3+ hours of no progress it was the best thing for Tennyson and I. It turns out his head wasn't straight so he wasn't coming any other way than a c-section. And you know, it really wasn't that bad. Recovery was rough, but it would have been either way.
So after getting me ready and Tom into scrubs, Tennyson was born at 12:20PM. Since we hadn't found out what we were having I wanted Tom to be the one to tell me. So when he came out they held him up for Tom to see. He leaned down and said, "It's a boy." My response, "I knew it!" I really did. In my heart I knew it was a boy and I was thrilled. We both were. Tennyson Harper was an 8 lb. 2 oz. preemie, but completely healthy. In fact he was full-term in every way but gestation!
It was finally here. The moment we'd waited so long for. They held Tennyson over the screen for me to see and yes, he was messy, but beautiful. I had never laid eyes on a more beautiful child in my life. (I still haven't!) The tears were uncontrollable. It's amazing the instant, unconditional, intense love you feel for someone you've just met. We had a few moments with the three of us before they took him away to be cleaned, etc. and I had to get stitched up.
The next thing I remember was waking up in the recovery room and asking for "my baby". It seemed like forever, but they finally brought him in. I never, ever wanted to let him go. I couldn't believe he had just come from inside me! What a wonderful, almighty God to design such perfection. He was so tiny (even at 8lbs), with all his little fingers, toes, and facial features. I couldn't get enough of him. I just thought over and over again that he was mine, ours. Half Tom and half me. The miracle of new life was before us and we definitely felt God's love pouring over us as a family of three.
Tennyson was born on Monday, and we were going home Thursday. I could stay an extra day because of the surgery if I wanted to and I am glad I did. There were some rough moments in the hospital, due to the c-section, but nothing a little morphine couldn't fix. We knew Tennyson was having an issue with jaundice, but they discharged us with a follow-up appt for bloodwork the next day. Sure enough his count was at 20 Friday morning so we had to literally turn around and go back in. I was devastated, but my family and friends came to see us the whole week we were there, bringing gifts and food. I didn't mind the hospital stay, it was actually kind of fun, but I didn't care for the food.
On Sunday, almost a week after he was born we were home for good. Tom and I still laugh about the ride home. "Oh my goodness, we're going home. We have a baby." The next few weeks and months were filled with visitors but also lots of doctor's appts because Tennyson didn't gain weight well. But that's all over now!
He's a happy, healthy, adorable boy and Tom and I feel blessed beyond measure. We thank God every day for our miracle baby. Looking back we realize, too, how perfect His timing was. Since Tennyson came a month early Tom was able to be home for three weeks before school started. What a blessing for him to have that undivided bonding time with our son!
For memory's sake here are some photos from Tennyson's first few days of life:
Mommy and Daddy love you very much, Sweet Boy!!! More today than yesterday and not as much as tomorrow.
