Ever since I became a mother nearly three years ago almost everything in my life has changed, and most of it for the better. My full-time job is now taking care of my children. My relationship with my husband has been taken to a deeper level. My house isn't as clean and organized as it used to be. And my friendships have changed dramatically.
Lately I have been feeling forgotten by my friends - left out of social gatherings and parties. I guess it's because I haven't been around much since Raleigh's birth, and admittedly, I haven't been the best at keeping in touch. But taking care of two little ones and trying to do all the things running a household requires plus trying to earn money to make ends meet doesn't leave any time for socialization. Aside from those reasons, Raleigh is still (at 8 months old) depending solely on me for food (though secretly I don't mind a bit), so needless to say he goes everywhere with me.
Honestly, I am not sorry for putting my motherly and wifely duties first. I have to. I am the one that keeps everything running. I recognize that as an introvert I have to make a conscience effort to be social. I'd much rather be home with my little family. I am learning not to take everything so personally. Maybe they don't like me anymore because my kids are so darn cute and they are jealous? Haha! Okay, that's probably not the real reason.
A week or so ago here is how my Facebook said read "Brittany is reevaluating her friendships and trying not to take everything so personally. There are a few friends I hold most dear, that I could count on for anything. They love me no matter what and we are there for each other. I can't be all things to all people, and frankly, I'm not gonna try." Almost immediately several of my friends e-mailed me saying they knew exactly what I was going through. I appreciated that so much. It meant that I wasn't crazy or a bad person for reevaluating who my friends really were.
I do find myself relying mostly on those friends that are in the same place I am right now, home with little ones. And since my time is valuable I am realizing that I need to step away from my high-maintenance friendships. I simply can't do it all. I can't maintain a house, give my husband and sons what they need, and try to keep alive one-sided friendships.
Anyway, I just needed to get all this out. My blog is really my only outlet. And I don't know if anyone reads it, but that's what's going on with me right now. Reevaluating, yet thanking God for every blessing that keeps my life full.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Spring Cleaning Giveaway
I am signed up to get offer from SC Johnson & Company. Here's a sweet deal if you are one of the first 10,000 to respond:
http://www.rightathome.com/special-offers/
http://www.rightathome.com/special-offers/
Monday, March 8, 2010
In Case You are Wondering....
It's amazing how many people have asked us if we are going to "try for a girl." Even after we had Tennyson the question began to surface, but now it's like people just assume that since we have 2 boys that we want or need a girl.
The short answer to the prying question is "NO!" I am already so miffed at being asked that it's starting to go something like this, "So...are you gonna try for a girl?" My response, "WHY would I do that?" Besides that, I don't think it's right trying for a boy or girl that you may or may not get and ending up with more kids than you intended to or can afford.
Truthfully, I always wanted boys. I am so not a girly-girl. I hate shopping for clothes and shoes (just ask Tom). When I was growing up I spent more time playing with my brother's G.I. Joe's and climbing trees than playing house. And besides, should I need some girl time I have 3 sisters, 3 sisters-in-law, and lots of friends.
I am not one of these women with a burning desire to have a daughter. I love, love, love having little "Toms" around. To see the bond Tom has with his sons is indescribable. It's great having trains, trucks, and Hot Wheels cars all over the house! (And for the record, I would not deal well with a Drama Queen. There's no chance of that with sons!)
I realize that at 31 I don't have to make a decision about baby #3 right now. But always in the back of my mind is the fact that I would have to have a third c-section, and after the difficult time I had with Raleigh I am not sure I want to go through that again. Deciding to have a third would be based on us wanting a third no matter what the gender. Sometimes it's easy to think, "Oh, let's have another. All my friends are pregnant!" (I think I have the most fertile friends in the world! Haha!) But I really want time to enjoy and nurture each child individually, especially in the early years. My parents did lots of things right, but I rarely got one-on-one time with 6 brothers and sisters around, so I don't want to have that "problem," no matter if we have 2 kids or 3.
So yeah, lots to think about. But thankfully, I am not in a hurry. I am just enjoying these days raising my 2 wonderful boys! I'm sure gonna miss it someday.
The short answer to the prying question is "NO!" I am already so miffed at being asked that it's starting to go something like this, "So...are you gonna try for a girl?" My response, "WHY would I do that?" Besides that, I don't think it's right trying for a boy or girl that you may or may not get and ending up with more kids than you intended to or can afford.
Truthfully, I always wanted boys. I am so not a girly-girl. I hate shopping for clothes and shoes (just ask Tom). When I was growing up I spent more time playing with my brother's G.I. Joe's and climbing trees than playing house. And besides, should I need some girl time I have 3 sisters, 3 sisters-in-law, and lots of friends.
I am not one of these women with a burning desire to have a daughter. I love, love, love having little "Toms" around. To see the bond Tom has with his sons is indescribable. It's great having trains, trucks, and Hot Wheels cars all over the house! (And for the record, I would not deal well with a Drama Queen. There's no chance of that with sons!)
I realize that at 31 I don't have to make a decision about baby #3 right now. But always in the back of my mind is the fact that I would have to have a third c-section, and after the difficult time I had with Raleigh I am not sure I want to go through that again. Deciding to have a third would be based on us wanting a third no matter what the gender. Sometimes it's easy to think, "Oh, let's have another. All my friends are pregnant!" (I think I have the most fertile friends in the world! Haha!) But I really want time to enjoy and nurture each child individually, especially in the early years. My parents did lots of things right, but I rarely got one-on-one time with 6 brothers and sisters around, so I don't want to have that "problem," no matter if we have 2 kids or 3.
So yeah, lots to think about. But thankfully, I am not in a hurry. I am just enjoying these days raising my 2 wonderful boys! I'm sure gonna miss it someday.
Monday, March 1, 2010
My Darling Boy ~ A Tennyson Update
Ah, finally an update on Tennyson. Poor little guy, now that there is a baby in the house he just doesn't get the blogging time he deserves! Well, Tennyson is doing and saying so many new things now, I genuinely can't keep up. And now that his vocabulary has expanded to include words like "probably" and "convertible," conversations with him have gotten increasingly hilarious. Here are a few examples of some funny things he's said recently:
2.2010 ~ We have been having major bedtime battles with Tennyson that started the day we began to pack up at the old house, so it's been going on for-ever. Anyway, sometime last week I went to check on him around 10:30 or so, only to open his door to find him quietly playing in his room. I calmly said, "Oh, we thought you were asleep." My 2-year old's response, "I was sleeping with my eyes open." Are you kidding me?! Haha!
2.22.10 ~ During dinner I must have been eating quickly (as usual) because Tennyson looked at me and said, "Mommy, you must be starving!"
2.24.10 ~ There is a corner of the rug in our room that was slightly chewed up by some visiting canines a few years ago. On this particular day Tennyson remarked on this (again) and this time I said, "Who did that?" He said, "Cameron and Sara did it." So funny and random that he would blame it on my brother and sister-in-law!
2.28.10 ~ Tennyson came downstairs last night saying something was wrong in his room. So I went upstairs to check it out. He kept pointing at the floor and when I found the tiny piece of carpet he was referring to I told him it was okay, nothing was wrong. He said, "Mommy, I broke you floor."
3.1.10 ~ When Tennyson's nails need to be cut and they are dirty underneath I tell him it's dirt and germs. Today after I cut his nails he looked in the sink and said, "Look at all those germs!"
I realize that since we are Tennyson's parents we think he's something extra special, but Tennyson genuinely lights up whatever room he is in. Everyone seems to be drawn to him, from the teachers at BRCS begging Tom to bring him in to my family who just loves to be around him. As the previous stories illustrate, Tennyson is highly entertaining!
I have been asked (already?!) if we are going to put him in preschool, but truthfully he's knows everything they would teach him anyway. (Besides, we can't afford it right now.) Tennyson has known all his colors and shapes for a year now, but now he can count to 11 ("But this one goes to 11.") Tennyson knows the alphabet and often breaks into the "Super Why" version of it. He knows every letter and number by sight, too, not just singing them. And you can have a intelligible conversation with him like you would a 4 year old. Tennyson recently started asking "What does that spell?" when we are reading to him. He asks poignant questions about things and already wants to know "Why?" and "What is that thing called?" My parents always said the smartest kids ask a lot of questions. :-)
Of course I can't talk about my darling boy without mentioning his ever increasing love of trains. For Christmas we got him Thomas the Tank Engine appliques to put all over his wall. So he often sits there and names all the trains. He can put together an impressive track, too, both the wooden and plastic ones. And his room is now complete with Thomas sheets and comforter, too. It's such a cute boy's room! He spends a lot of time in there just playing trains. It really is quite precious.
2.2010 ~ We have been having major bedtime battles with Tennyson that started the day we began to pack up at the old house, so it's been going on for-ever. Anyway, sometime last week I went to check on him around 10:30 or so, only to open his door to find him quietly playing in his room. I calmly said, "Oh, we thought you were asleep." My 2-year old's response, "I was sleeping with my eyes open." Are you kidding me?! Haha!
2.22.10 ~ During dinner I must have been eating quickly (as usual) because Tennyson looked at me and said, "Mommy, you must be starving!"
2.24.10 ~ There is a corner of the rug in our room that was slightly chewed up by some visiting canines a few years ago. On this particular day Tennyson remarked on this (again) and this time I said, "Who did that?" He said, "Cameron and Sara did it." So funny and random that he would blame it on my brother and sister-in-law!
2.28.10 ~ Tennyson came downstairs last night saying something was wrong in his room. So I went upstairs to check it out. He kept pointing at the floor and when I found the tiny piece of carpet he was referring to I told him it was okay, nothing was wrong. He said, "Mommy, I broke you floor."
3.1.10 ~ When Tennyson's nails need to be cut and they are dirty underneath I tell him it's dirt and germs. Today after I cut his nails he looked in the sink and said, "Look at all those germs!"
I realize that since we are Tennyson's parents we think he's something extra special, but Tennyson genuinely lights up whatever room he is in. Everyone seems to be drawn to him, from the teachers at BRCS begging Tom to bring him in to my family who just loves to be around him. As the previous stories illustrate, Tennyson is highly entertaining!
I have been asked (already?!) if we are going to put him in preschool, but truthfully he's knows everything they would teach him anyway. (Besides, we can't afford it right now.) Tennyson has known all his colors and shapes for a year now, but now he can count to 11 ("But this one goes to 11.") Tennyson knows the alphabet and often breaks into the "Super Why" version of it. He knows every letter and number by sight, too, not just singing them. And you can have a intelligible conversation with him like you would a 4 year old. Tennyson recently started asking "What does that spell?" when we are reading to him. He asks poignant questions about things and already wants to know "Why?" and "What is that thing called?" My parents always said the smartest kids ask a lot of questions. :-)
Of course I can't talk about my darling boy without mentioning his ever increasing love of trains. For Christmas we got him Thomas the Tank Engine appliques to put all over his wall. So he often sits there and names all the trains. He can put together an impressive track, too, both the wooden and plastic ones. And his room is now complete with Thomas sheets and comforter, too. It's such a cute boy's room! He spends a lot of time in there just playing trains. It really is quite precious.
Check out the awesome guitar-shaped track he built by himself!
Playing trains with Daddy
Life is never dull with Tennyson around. He talks non-stop, and breaking into "Jingle Bells" and "Little Drummer Boy" are still a common occurrence. He loves to take off his sock and say, "Look, piggy toes!" And then remove the other one and says, "Look, MORE piggy toes!" Tennyson's other new thing is to show up his "food" after he eats something. It started with Tom saying he was going to eat it and Tennyson showing us that it's in his tummy instead. Yes, our boy is ridiculous!
Showing us what he ate, in this case it's carrots and grapes.
Tennyson continues to be a dream big brother, and he and Raleigh have really begun that legendary brotherly bond. Raleigh giggles and laughs just watching Tennyson jump and run around, but he especially loves playing peek-a-boo with him. Tennyson showers "baby brudder" with so much love and affection. I really never expected they would bond so well, so quickly.
Wearing Daddy's snowy boots
This was taken after the big snow on the way to my brother's to watch the Superbowl.
I could write a book our energetic, lovable, funny little boy. Tom asked him last week, "Are you a monkey?" Tennyson responded, "No, I a sweet boy." He sure is.....
Monday, February 22, 2010
Baby Boy is 6 Months Old!
Okay, Raleigh is actually 7 months by now, but hey, at least I am finally getting around to documenting his half-birthday, right? I have so much I could say about my Little BOL (One of my nicknames for him is Ball of Love). Raleigh rolled over at 4 months or so and now he is most definitely on the move. He's not crawling yet, but he has gotten his knees up under himself a few times. (Yikes!) He is one determined little man though. If he sees something he wants he WILL find a way to get it! Raleigh has been known to roll repeatedly across the living room just to get his sweet, little hands on one of big brother's trains! It's crazy how fast and precise his rolling has become! You can often hear us say, "How did you get all the way over there?"
Raleigh is still the happiest baby! Since birth he's just been this content, laid-back little dude. He's so alert and really notices new surroundings and people. It's so cute to watch him watch people. And just recently Tennyson and he have really starting interacting! Oh how I love it! Tennyson jumps around the room and then pretends to fall down and Raleigh just bursts into laughter. I tell you, sometimes I think I might explode from the cuteness!
At Raleigh's 6 month appointment he weighed 14 lbs. 5 oz. (5th percentile) and was 26.5 inches l
long (50th percentile). In fact the nurse measured him three times because she could not believe he had grown over 2 inches in 2 months. Looks like he'll be taking after Mommy in the height department, too! The peditrician explained that the growth charts don't really make alotments for preemies, but he was pleased to see that even though Raleigh is small he is gaining weight nicely.
This is especially good to know since he's still living solely off me. The few times we tried to give him a bottle he steadfastly refused. And I did make a couple attempts at rice cereal, but he was also less than enthusiastic about it. I figure there's no rules about when to introduce solids, so I am not going to stress about it. He'll eat it when he's ready.
Raleigh still loves to chew on his toes, especially when socks are present. And his determined little spirit is something I hope he doesn't lose. Here are some photos I took during a little photo shoot of my littlest man, and a few others since then.
His eyes really are that blue.
Loves the toes!
Baby feet
One of his many expressions
One of his many expressions
So content
Lookin' a little pouty.
"Do I have to try it, Mommy?"
"But my hand tastes better."
"Yeah, I'm not crazy about this organic rice stuff."
A Heavy End to an Otherwise Wonderful Christmas
This past Christmas was an amazing time with my 24 member family. We laughed, played games, ate, and just really enjoyed being in each other's company. On the last night we were all together (December 27th) we all headed to my sister's house in Broadway for a family picture and dinner. After the picture I went upstairs to feed Raleigh. My sister, Dawn, came in and said Lynley had an announcement to make. Normally that means a pregnancy, but seeing as my sister was crying I knew that wasn't it something good.
By the time I got out in to the living room everyone was gathered around listening to my sister, Lynley, with my brother-in-law, Dan, right beside her. His hand was on her back and he was looking down. I heard things like "surgery," "lump," and "doctors." For a second I didn't comprehend what was going on. Was it her? Where was the lump? What did it mean?
I don't really need to give all the details here, but Dan discovered a lump during yoga, of all things, around December 10th and went to the doctor right away. They soon were doing surgery to remove swollen lymph nodes in his neck. (My brother, Cameron, noticed the scar and asked Dan about it, somewhat prompting Lynley and Dan to share with the family what was going on.) By this point there had already been lots of tests, scans, and appointments. When Lynley was done talking I think everyone was stunned and in tears and then.......and then we all got up and hugged them, hugged each other. Just long, meaningful hugs. Some of us prayed for them. It was a very heavy moment. So very different from different from the same day last year when we announced to my family that we were expecting Raleigh.
The next day Lynley and Dan headed back to PA for a late afternoon doctor's appointment. They called while the rest of us were having dinner and told us that the doctors had confirmed what we were all fearing - cancer. Dan was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkins Lymphoma. It was so surreal because Dan is only 30 and he and Lynley are hand's down the healthiest people we know. Thankfully since Dan is a pre-med student at Penn State he has been getting the royal treatment! So we are so happy about that.
It still seems so surreal. So unfair that Dan has to go through this. I can't tell you how my heart aches for them. As of now Dan has done 4 of his 8 chemo treatments. He's dealt with "fire tongue," fatigue, nausea, and just recently hair loss. And in May he'll do 2-3 weeks of radiation. Though his prognosis is extremely good he (and Lynley) still weigh heavy on our hearts and our minds throughout the day. So if you could please, please remember to pray for them I know they would appreciate it. And if you want to follow along on their journey to kick cancer Dan's Caring Bridge website is: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/teamlapp .
We look forward to the day he is cancer free....and we know that will be soon!
By the time I got out in to the living room everyone was gathered around listening to my sister, Lynley, with my brother-in-law, Dan, right beside her. His hand was on her back and he was looking down. I heard things like "surgery," "lump," and "doctors." For a second I didn't comprehend what was going on. Was it her? Where was the lump? What did it mean?
Taken after "the announcement."
They still look good, even with puffy eyes!
I don't really need to give all the details here, but Dan discovered a lump during yoga, of all things, around December 10th and went to the doctor right away. They soon were doing surgery to remove swollen lymph nodes in his neck. (My brother, Cameron, noticed the scar and asked Dan about it, somewhat prompting Lynley and Dan to share with the family what was going on.) By this point there had already been lots of tests, scans, and appointments. When Lynley was done talking I think everyone was stunned and in tears and then.......and then we all got up and hugged them, hugged each other. Just long, meaningful hugs. Some of us prayed for them. It was a very heavy moment. So very different from different from the same day last year when we announced to my family that we were expecting Raleigh.
The next day Lynley and Dan headed back to PA for a late afternoon doctor's appointment. They called while the rest of us were having dinner and told us that the doctors had confirmed what we were all fearing - cancer. Dan was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkins Lymphoma. It was so surreal because Dan is only 30 and he and Lynley are hand's down the healthiest people we know. Thankfully since Dan is a pre-med student at Penn State he has been getting the royal treatment! So we are so happy about that.
It still seems so surreal. So unfair that Dan has to go through this. I can't tell you how my heart aches for them. As of now Dan has done 4 of his 8 chemo treatments. He's dealt with "fire tongue," fatigue, nausea, and just recently hair loss. And in May he'll do 2-3 weeks of radiation. Though his prognosis is extremely good he (and Lynley) still weigh heavy on our hearts and our minds throughout the day. So if you could please, please remember to pray for them I know they would appreciate it. And if you want to follow along on their journey to kick cancer Dan's Caring Bridge website is: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/teamlapp .
We look forward to the day he is cancer free....and we know that will be soon!
Christmas~ Part 2
Let's see if I can actually find the time to sit and get caught up on my blog. Since I am so far behind (Raleigh is 7 months old I haven't even done a 6 month post for him!) I'll just post a few photos from Christmas that I wanted to share.
My siblings. Yeah, we're ridiculous!
We went to the Harrisonburg Children's Museum on the 26th with my brother, Kyrce, and his family. Here's a fuzzy, yet adorable, photo of Tennyson.
Racing Daddy
Riding the John Deere
Weighing vegetables
My nephew, Holden (3), and my niece, Bethany (3), eating bananas. I love the guilty look!
My sister-in-law, Maureen, and Raleigh (5 months).
An overhead view of most of my family while my Dad
read a devotion before Christmas dinner (12.26.09)
My siblings. Yeah, we're ridiculous!
We went to the Harrisonburg Children's Museum on the 26th with my brother, Kyrce, and his family. Here's a fuzzy, yet adorable, photo of Tennyson.
Racing Daddy
Riding the John Deere
Weighing vegetables
My nephew, Holden (3), and my niece, Bethany (3), eating bananas. I love the guilty look!
My sister-in-law, Maureen, and Raleigh (5 months).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
