Since We're Among Friends

Though most of what I post on my blog is light, fun, and photographic I have been feeling like I need to share more about what's going on in my life. What's really going on. And though I know everyone who reads this I don't necessarily know their life circumstances at any given moment. So I hope someone reading this can find comfort in knowing they are not alone if they are in a similar trial.

Our pastors have been talking a lot about favor (and faithfulness) in church and I don't mind telling you that "favorful" is the last thing Tom and I have been feeling. Every year we have experienced a major, and sometimes devasting, challenge. We've been frustrated because we know we are doing things right, but still can't seem to get ahead. We know without a doubt that I am supposed to be home full-time with Tennyson. We don't want anyone else caring for him day in and day out but his Mommy. We know without a doubt that Tom is supposed to be teaching at Blue Ridge. As the only full-time male teacher, we know there are kids that need him to be that Godly role model, especially those children from broken homes.

Thankfully, we are part of an awesome home group and when we shared with them about how life's been going for us, they offered to come pray for us.....and bring reinforcements! I won't share everything that was prayed for us and over us, but it was all GOOD! Tom, especially, has felt that there's something "bigger" out there but doesn't know what that "bigger" thing is. So we are believing there are bigger and better things ahead for us as husband and wife and as a family. We are also believing these lean times are just a season of learning before God brings His bounty. Tom and I do feel blessed in so many ways, but we know that God has something else for us.

Along that path, there has been talk of expanding our family. We know we may face the same challenges (and expenses) trying to conceive. I do have to confess, since we're among friends, that it's really, really hard for me to be excited for people that can make babies without trying. I guess it would come under that ugly word of "jealousy." (Gasp!) For me, and many of my friends, it's was a long and painful road. One friend in particular just found out she may have problems conceiving. I have cried so many tears for her this past week because I know her pain, confusion, and grief all too well. Listening to her was so surreal. It's exactly where I was 2 years ago. I have told Tom that if Tennyson is the only child we were able to have, though not ideal, I could still be content because we were blessed with him. I am just so thankful for our little boy! For me having Tennyson was God's restoration in the most profound sense. And I await....and pray....and hope to have that again. For me and my dear friend.